Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Top 35 Oxymorons" - e-Hawaii Joke
35. State worker
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Butt head
19. Military intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Rural Metro (ambulance service)
16. "Now, then ..."
15. Passive ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tita and Pit Bull" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What's the difference between a Tita and a Pitbull?
A) Lipstick
(Submitted via email by "John")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tita Blues" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a “tita from Waianae” who just lost her boyfriend?
A) Brah-less!
(Submitted via email by "JR")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Ticket Please" - e-Hawaii Joke
Three Japanese engineers and three Chinese accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Stop Over" - e-Hawaii Joke
My future sister-in-law called our house excited cause she found out that she gets to come to Hawaii. They were leaving out of L.A. straight to Honolulu, and when she found out how much the tickets were going to cost she asked if it would be ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"True Portuguese Story" - e-Hawaii Joke
One night at a bar I visited the men's restroom and one big guy followed me in.
"Eh, Funny Man!", he yelled at me, "I'm Portuguese, and I don't care for all those jokes you been telling all night!"
Thinking fast, I replied "Bruddah, I was not ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"You're Probably Chinese If..." - e-Hawaii Joke
You eat rice for breakfast.
Your friends and everybody else assume you know Kung Fu.
You remember or still use "the bowl" for haircuts.
Your folk's kitchen have a constant lingering aroma.
You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
Your parent's lifelong ambition is to go ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"The Voting Filipino" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) Why didn't they let the Filipino man vote?
A) Because he might eat the ballot (balut)!
(Submitted via email by "Beth")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Free Transport from NAIA Airport" - e-Hawaii Joke
To my fellow Filipinos, Good news from GMA.
Starting January of 2010, Filipinos from all around the world will surely benefit from this one-of-a-kind service from the newly passed law by the government of the Philippines . The service is entitled Hatid Kabayan. Any ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Top Ten Reasons There Won't Be A Chinese President Anytime Soon" - e-Hawaii Joke
10) White House not big enough for in-laws
9) Engineering, medicine, and law always preferred over politics
8 ) Oval Office has bad feng shui (literally means 'wind water')
7) Can’t find decent roast duck inside the beltway
6) Secret service ...
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tongans In the Tub" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call 3 Tongans guys in a tub?
A) GUERRILLAS IN THE MIST!
(Submitted via email by "Sonja")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tongan Thumbs" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) Why do Tongans have big thumbs?
A) 'cause they have big nostrils
(Submitted via email by "Sonja")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tongan Lovin'" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q: What does a Tongan say during sex?
A: Neeeeeeeigggghhhh
(Submitted via email by "smackdownqueen")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tongan In the Toilet" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) How do you know if a Tongan has been in your toilet?
A) There's no wall paper on the wall.
(Submitted via email by "Mareko")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Tongan In the Mirror" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Tongan stood in front of the Mirror and asked "Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the prettiest of them all?" and the Mirror replied *craaack!*
(Submitted via email by "smackdownqueen")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"Surfing Samoan" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a Samoan surfing the outside break at Pipeline on a five-foot day?
A) Tufa Out.
(Submitted via email by "sah")
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Saturday, January 9th, 2010
"'Speaker' in Samoan" - e-Hawaii Joke
There was an elementary school teacher. She called on the Samoan kid, the Palagi kid, and the Meauli kid. The teacher asked first to the Palagi kid to make a sentence with the word "speaker", and the Palagi goes "I have stereo with two big speakers ...
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"You Know You're Portuguese If..." - e-Hawaii Joke
The day after you got married, your wife's immediate family moved into your house, permanently.
The plastic covering is still on your lamp shades.
Every person you've ever introduced to your husband, has been a relative of yours.
There are two refrigerators in your house. One ...
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Two Portuguese Men Sleeping In the Car" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) Wat u call 2 portagees sleeping in da car?
A) Mendoza
(Submitted via email by "Crack Seed")
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Portuguese Sleeping In the Car" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) Wat u call one portagee sleeping in da kauwila?
A) Cardoza
(Submitted via email by "Crack Seed")
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Portuguese On the Beach" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What u call one portagee on da beach?
A) Santos
(Submitted via email by "Crack Seed")
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Portuguese Robbery" - e-Hawaii Joke
Returning home from work, a Portuguese woman was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As ...
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Portuguese Car Accident" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Portuguese woman had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. Your car looks like an accordion that ...
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Pregnant Portuguese" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What did the Portuguese woman say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A) "Is it mine?"
(Submitted via email by "Dennis")
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
"Portuguese State Capitals" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Portuguese woman was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The Portuguese replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
(Submitted via email by "Dennis")
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