Hawaiian Driver’s License Application

“Hawaiian Brain Teaser” – e-Hawaii Joke

Please try fo complete dis as best as you can.

Last name:

_______________________________________
[if your last name no fit, continue on da oddah side of da page.]

First name:

[ ] Junior
[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ] Sista-Girl

What year you went grad: ____
(if unsure, try guess)

Sex:

[ ]M
[ ]F
[ ]Mahu
[ ]None

Slippa size: ____ Left ____ Right

Weight:

[ ]Small kine
[ ] Mejum
[ ] Small kine big
[ ] Momona

Eyes:

[ ] Blind as one bat
[ ] Bad, but not dat bad
[ ] She go!
[ ] Black and Blue

Occupation:

[ ] Construction worka
[ ] Sanitation Engineer
[ ] Surfa
[ ] Lei greeter
[ ] Waitress
[ ] Stripper
[ ] Un-employed
[ ] Bishop Estate Trustee

Spouse’s Name:

______________________________

2nd Spouse’s Name:

______________________________

3rd Spouse’s Name:

______________________________

Lover’s Name:

______________________________

2nd Lover’s Name:

______________________________

Nationality:

[ ] Hawaiian
[ ] Popolo
[ ] Japanese
[ ] Filipino
[ ] Haole
[ ] Portagee if yes; explain why:
[ ] Pake if yes; explain why:
[ ] All da above

Numba of children living in household: ______

Numba of children living in your household das not yours: _____

Number of children that stay bumming off of you das over 23 years old: ______

Mother’s Name:

_______________________(Relation__________)

Father’s Name:

_______________________(Relation__________)

Edumacation: (Circle highest grade completed)

1 2 3 4

If you obtained one higher edumacation what was your major?

[ ] 5th grade [ ] 6th grade

Cawheelas you own and where dey stay:

___ Total number of cawheelas you own

___ Number of cawheelas that still crank ova

___ Number of cawheelas wit rust

___ Number of cawheelas no mo rust

___ Number of cawheelas on cement blocks

___ Number of cawheelas stay held together with duct tape.

Age you started fo drive: ______

(If over 10, slow learner ?): [ ] Yes [ ] No

Do you have a surf rack?

[ ] Yes [ ] No; If no, please explain:

Color of teeth:

[ ] Yellow
[ ] Brownish-Yellow
[ ] Brown
[ ] Black
[ ] N/A

How far is your home from a paved road?

[ ] 1 miles
[ ] 2 miles
[ ] don’t know

Distance between you and da beach? ____

Do you live on beach front property but don’t own a house or the land? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Please explain:

How many times have you gotten away with a DUI this year because you were related to da policeman?____

How much pakalolo do you smoke a day?

[ ] 1 joint
[ ] 2 joints
[ ] would smoke but cost more den gold.

How much beer do you drink a day?

[ ] 6 pack
[ ] 12 pack
[ ] 18 pack
[ ] case

How do you know that you had too much to drink?

[ ] You fall out of da car when da policeman opens da car door.
[ ] Da keg is empty.
[ ] You Haole but your eyes look like de from one Japanese.
[ ] When you piss, da bugga smell like Budweiser.
[ ] All of the above.

(Submitted via email by “Joni”)