Moki’s Law: The chance of you dividing a manapua
evenly in half depends upon how much you want to share it.
Moki’s Law: The syrup in your shave ice will always run out before the ice.
Moki’s Law: Never insult a person who is hairier than you or named Manny.
Moki’s Law: Rugby is the Samoan form of therapy.
Moki’s Law: Never talk to haoles in pidgin, they may try to answer back.
Moki’s Law: When all else fails, say you’re a tourist.
Moki’s Law: Clouds always have a way of following you to the beach.
Moki’s Law: A luau is when pig is served and made of oneself.
Moki’s Law: In Hawaii the extended family could include half the islands.
Moki’s Law: The best waves for surfing will always break while you’re in
school or at work.
Moki’s Law: The poi dog you got free from a friend will always be smarter and
cuter at their house.
Moki’s Law: If you think you’ve got it bad, try being a tourist stranded at
Waimanalo Beach Park.
Moki’s Law: The only good pigeon is one that can’t fly higher than our head.
Moki’s Law: There is always one more cockroach.
Moki’s Law: Be wary of a Hawaiian who says he lives in Kahala but got a District
Exception to Nanakuli.
Moki’s Law: The ume will always be in the last corner of the musubi.
Moki’s Law: The Kim Chee you ate three days ago will always resurface while
you’re on that important date.
Moki’s Law: Just when you think you’ve met the girl of your dreams, her five
older brothers tell you otherwise.
Moki’s Law: The guy you’re crazy about will always ask you out on a night you
have to go to a family gathering.
Moki’s Law: In Hawaii the legal age for drinking is 18 and the legal height
Moki’s Law: If you buy a new dress for a party, the chances are that someone else
at the party was also shopping at LH.
Moki’s Law: If an invitation says dinner at 6 PM (Hawaiian time) you can safely
assume they mean 7:30 PM.
Moki’s Law: Formal in Hawaii is a long sleeve T-shirt with rubber slippers that
don’t smell.
Moki’s Law: When in doubt talk pidgin, when in trouble talk Hawaiian.
Moki’s Law: When there’s a long line at Spats and you want to impress your
date, the doorman you know will have called in sick.
Moki’s Law: The chance of you losing the top of your shave ice is directly
proportional to how long the line was.
Moki’s Law: On the day you start your diet, someone will bring a bag of malasadas
to the office.
Moki’s Law: The best way to catch up on old friends, is to shop weekly at Longs.
Moki’s Law: The page you need in the public telephone booth will always be
missing.
Moki’s Law: The prerequisites for the Honolulu Police Department are a 4-year
varsity letter, a Portuguese last name and healed acne scars.
Moki’s Law: Whoever invented saimin must have also invented spam.
