Friday, February 27th, 2009
"You Know You're From Hawaii If..." - e-Hawaii Joke
You buy large quantities of toilet paper in case there's a longshoreman strike...
You don't understand why anyone would buy less than a 20 lb bag of rice...
You would serve spam as a meat for dinner...
You can taste the difference between teriyaki and kal-bi
You ...
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
"U Know U Local Eef" - e-Hawaii Joke
You have a separate circuit breaker for your rice cooker/warmer.
Only NOW you know that cilantro is the same as Chinese parsley.
You measure the water for the rice by the knuckle of your index finger.
You know which market shave poi on which days.
You know that ...
Posted in Jokes | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Glenn's Baggage Claim" - e-Hawaii Joke
One day one Portuguese lady named Mrs. Medeiros was waiting for her dog at the airport and they didn't bring it out. She went to the baggage claim and asked the clerk, Glenn "where's my dog? I've been waiting half-hour already!" Glenn, said "Hold on ma'am ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Blind Portuguese Man" - e-Hawaii Joke
One day while cruising Wall Mart I saw this blind Portuguese guy walking towards me as he was being pulled by his "Seeing Eye" dog. Suddenly he pulled the dog off the floor by it's leash as it choked and started swinging it around in a ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Hawaiian Brain Teaser" - e-Hawaii Joke
Please try fo complete dis as best as you can.
Last name:
_______________________________________
[if your last name no fit, continue on da oddah side of da page.]
First name:
[ ] Junior
[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ...
Posted in Jokes | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Pass Me..." - e-Hawaii Joke
They were three guys dining with their wives, a Chinese, a Portuguese and a Hawaiian.
During dinner the Chinese said to his wife, "Pass the sugar, Sugar." Proudly she did while the other wives looked enviously.
Later, the Portuguese said to his wife, "Pass the honey, Honey." She too ...
Posted in Jokes | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Duck Contest" - e-Hawaii Joke
It was duck season again. One sunny afternoon out in the plantation fields, the Filipino and his next door neighbor were out shooting for ducks. The Potagee shoots a duck and it starts falling down landing on the Filipino mans territory.
The Potagee guy says "EH! That's ...
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Acrobat" - e-Hawaii Joke
A haole woman was taking a walk one day when she happened upon two Portuguese men. One of them was digging a ditch with a shovel and the other was doing all kinds of magnificent acrobatic back flips and somersaults.
The woman walked up to the man who ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Full Diaper" - e-Hawaii Joke
Once I visited my sister and saw her little two year old go strolling by.
"Hey sister", I cried, "look at your daughter's pampers, the bugga stay full with doo doo!"
She looked at me surprised and replied, "Nah cannot be! The box said it was good for 20 ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Are You Really Filipino? 115 Ways to Find Out" - e-Hawaii Joke
Confused about your ethnic identity; Want to know just how Filipino you are? Take this less-than-scientific quiz to rate your Filipino-ness. You might just be surprised at the results!
Scoring: Give yourself 3 points if you can relate to the following ...
Posted in Jokes | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Filipino Hostess" - e-Hawaii Joke
The teacher told her students to go home and make a sentence using the word "HOSTESS." The next day, the first student was a Hawaiian boy. He stood up and said, "My auntie is a Luau Hostess." The second student was a Korean girl. She stood ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Murphy's Law - Hawaiian Style" - e-Hawaii Joke
There will be a minimum of 5 different types of chicken at a potluck.
A girl in Hawai`i reaches maturity when she reads the Long's ad before the Sunday comics.
The chance of being able to divide a manapua evenly in half depends upon how much ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Brain Surgery" - e-Hawaii Joke
This guy walks into this doctor office and says "I would like a new brain." The doc looks at him and says "I got three brains on the wall to choose from."
The guy says, "How much is the first one?" The doc says, "That's a lawyer's brain ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Egg Dispute" - e-Hawaii Joke
Every day, a hen owned by the Hawaiian would lay an egg in his garden, which was used in his daily breakfast. One day, he looked into his garden, only to find that the hen had laid her egg in the Texan's garden.
He was about to go ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Hawaiian Football" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a Hawaiian football player?
A) A padded "brah"
(Submitted via email by "Lori")
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Business Golf" - e-Hawaii Joke
An American salesman in Japan happens to have a meeting with a Japanese executive to discuss the deal of his life. Millions of dollars are at stake and the American hits it off with the Japanese executive. At the end of the day long meeting the Japanese ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
Rap Reiplinger - "Fate Yanagi" from Rap's Hawaii - e-Hawaii Joke
Below is the amusing "Fate Yanagi" video - from Rap's Hawaii - performed by Rap Reiplinger. Video compliments of YouTube. Enjoy!
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"One Way Street" - e-Hawaii Joke
An officer of the law stopped a Filipino man driving the wrong way on a one way street. "Whas da matta" the man replied, "I know es one way... becus I go now and I no come back."!
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"King of the Jungle" - e-Hawaii Joke
One day, the King of the Jungle wanted to tour his kingdom and ask them all a simple question, "Who is the King of the Jungle?"
He came across a giraffe and said, "Grrr!!!! Who is the King of the Jungle?!!!"
The Giraffe answered, "Why, why, ...
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"OCCC Escapees" - e-Hawaii Joke
One day three men from OCCC was planning an escape. They dug a deep hole under the fence and made their escape. The guards were chasing them down fiercely with hunting dogs. The three men ran for cover and each climbed up the mango trees.
The dogs led ...
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Podagee Knock Knock" - e-Hawaii Joke
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Podagee Burgular
(Submitted via email by "Sistah Cuz")
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
Rap Reiplinger - "Chanting" from Rap's Hawaii - e-Hawaii Joke
Below is the amusing "Chanting" video - from Rap's Hawaii - performed by Rap Reiplinger. Video compliments of YouTube. Enjoy!
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Haole Wannabe" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a Haole trying to talk pidgin?
A) Training Bra!
(Submitted via email by "Sheila")
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Moki's Law" - e-Hawaii Joke
Moki’s Law: The chance of you dividing a manapua evenly in half depends upon how much you want to share it.
Moki’s Law: The syrup in your shave ice will always run out before the ice.
Moki’s Law: Never insult a person who is hairier than you or named ...
Posted in Jokes | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Sausage for Lunch" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Hawaiian, a Japanese and a Portuguese were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a Waikiki building.
One day as they were eating lunch, the Hawaiian said, "Fish and Poi! If I get Fish and poi one more time for lunch I’m ...
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
