Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"OCCC Escapees" - e-Hawaii Joke
One day three men from OCCC was planning an escape. They dug a deep hole under the fence and made their escape. The guards were chasing them down fiercely with hunting dogs. The three men ran for cover and each climbed up the mango trees.
The dogs led ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Podagee Knock Knock" - e-Hawaii Joke
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Podagee Burgular
(Submitted via email by "Sistah Cuz")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
Rap Reiplinger - "Chanting" from Rap's Hawaii - e-Hawaii Joke
Below is the amusing "Chanting" video - from Rap's Hawaii - performed by Rap Reiplinger. Video compliments of YouTube. Enjoy!
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Haole Wannabe" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a Haole trying to talk pidgin?
A) Training Bra!
(Submitted via email by "Sheila")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Moki's Law" - e-Hawaii Joke
Moki’s Law: The chance of you dividing a manapua evenly in half depends upon how much you want to share it.
Moki’s Law: The syrup in your shave ice will always run out before the ice.
Moki’s Law: Never insult a person who is hairier than you or named ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Sausage for Lunch" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Hawaiian, a Japanese and a Portuguese were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a Waikiki building.
One day as they were eating lunch, the Hawaiian said, "Fish and Poi! If I get Fish and poi one more time for lunch I’m ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Asian Pickup Lines" - e-Hawaii Joke
10) I may look like a nerd but it's only a disguise.
9) I carry this beeper not to feel important but so my mom knows where I am. I carry this phone to call her back.
8) Uhhhh, no, I didn't play football in high school but ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Comfortable" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Tongan man hired a Samoan man to work at his cattle farm in Tonga. He needed a bull, so he sent the Samoan man to Samoa to buy a bull. Before he left the Tongan man gave the Samoan man $600 to buy the best bull that ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Magic Mirror" - e-Hawaii Joke
Once had one Hawaiian, Japanese and Podagee. The Hawaiian walked up to da mirror and said, "I think I da greatest surfer in da world."
*POOF* He gets sucked in!
Then, the Japanese go, I thinku I amu za greatesto karate fightaa."
*POOF* He gets sucked in!
Finally, da Podagee ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Daniel's ASCII Sushi List" - e-Hawaii Joke
(from alt.ascii-art, rec.arts.ascii)
== Daniel's ASCII Sushi List ==
,;'''''''';,
|',________,'| ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Filipino Santa" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) There are three Santas on the Roof. Which one is the Filipino one?
A) The one in the bunny suit.
(Submitted via email by "Tbone")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Japanese Man's Sign For Sex" - e-Hawaii Joke
After nights of frustrating attempts of trying to seduce his wife, the Japanese man finally made a proposition to his wife.
"If you want to have sex with me, let me know by pulling on my penis one time."
"If you are not in the ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"A Male Hooker" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a gay hooker from Hawaii?
A) A Hawaiian Manhole
(Submitted via email by Lofia)
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Bull of Samoa" - e-Hawaii Joke
China, New Zealand, England, and Samoa were all building a big Tower for their leaders. So after they were done building the tower each leader wanted to make a toast. China went first. He steps up and says "I want to make a toast to ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Confucius Say - Chinese Proverbs" - e-Hawaii Joke
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Apple Juice" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) How do Filipinos use apple juice in a sentence?
A) When I dropped my moms crystalware, she screamed "APOJUCE!"
(Submitted via email by "Pok Head")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Deduct, Defense, Defeat and Detail" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Filipino man took a test for employment and was asked to make a sentence using the following words: Defense, Detail, Defeat, & Deduct. After a brief moment he replied, "Deduct jumped over Defense, first Defeat than Detail. "
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Japanese Personality Test" - e-Hawaii Joke
This is not really a joke but we found it pretty interesting. Answers are based on Ancient Japanese Archetypes.
You are in the desert. You are traveling with 5 animals:
A Lion
A Monkey
A Sheep
A Cow and
A Horse
It is a long way more to the safety of civilization, ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Filipino Helicopter" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) How do Filipinos use helicopter in a sentence?
A) I went to a police convention and I saw "hella-cop-dere"!
(Submitted via email by "Pok Head")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Cars In Heaven" - e-Hawaii Joke
"Doc, I had one terrible dream last night," said Kimo to his Psychiatrist. "I wen dream dat I wen die and wen go to see da braddah in heaven, and he told me dat if I'd never cheated on my wife I could drive a ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
Rap Reiplinger - "Room Service" from Rap's Hawaii - e-Hawaii Joke
Below is the amusing "Room Service" video - from Rap's Hawaii - performed by Rap Reiplinger. Video compliments of YouTube. Enjoy!
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Haole Eye-Opener" - e-Hawaii Joke
Late one Saturday night, a haole guy and his girlfriend pulled off the highway and parked in a cane field so they could be alone.
Just as the guy shut off his engine, several Hawaiians jumped out of the sugar cane and began hitting his car with baseball ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Japanese In Pain" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q.) What did the Japanese man say when the truck ran over his foot?
A.) Ah-gee-no-mo'-toe! (Ajinomoto) :0)
(Submitted via email by "Cheryl M.")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Car Jokes" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What kind of car does a Portuguese person drive?
A) A Camaro
Q) What is the color of a Portuguese person's car?
A) Silva
Q) What sound does the car make?
A) Pacheco.. pacheco...pacheco. OR Techiera...Techiera...Techiera.
(Submitted via email by "Michelle")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Haole's Night Out" - e-Hawaii Joke
One night at a bar, a haole guy ordered a beer. Holding the beer up as if giving a toast, he yelled "T-G-I-F!", and guzzled it down.
A Hawaiian guy at the other end of the bar held up his beer and yelled "S-H-I-T!", and guzzled it ...
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