Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Condom Use Frequency" - e-Hawaii Joke
A Hawaiian man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh, I ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Hawaiian Brain Teaser" - e-Hawaii Joke
Please try fo complete dis as best as you can.
Last name:
_______________________________________
[if your last name no fit, continue on da oddah side of da page.]
First name:
[ ] Junior
[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"The Driver" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) If you see a Samoan man and a black man in the same car, who do you think is driving?
A) The policeman.
(Submitted via email by "amazon woman")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Gay Midget" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a dumb gay midget in Hawaii?
A) Lo Low Blow.
(Submitted via email by "TypicalHawyn")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Hawaiian Lady's Saggy Boobs" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What did one Hawaiian Lady's saggy boob say to the other saggy boob??
A) "Eh, we betta get support or else they gon' tink we nuts!!"
(Submitted via email by "BJ Paet")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Ice Fishing" - e-Hawaii Joke
Two Hawaiian bruddahs decided to go fishing on ice for the first time. As they picked through the ice a voice rang out, "Noooo fishing here!"
"Wow!" Kimo said, "Bruddah you heard that"?
"No!" replied his bruddah.
They continued to pick and again the voice rang out, " I said ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Devastation" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What is a Filipino's idea of devastation?
A) It's where you catch de bus.
(Submitted via email by "not Mike")
"Devastation" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) How does a filipino use "devastation" in a sentence?
A) Hoy auntie, dont you have to go buy your ticket at "DEVASTATION"? (get it the bus station???)
(Submitted via ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"The Ambulance and the Samoan" - e-Hawaii Joke
There was an ambulance with its siren on that was rushing to the hospital that passed by a tenement. After they passed the tenement, they saw a Samoan man running quickly to the ambulance. The drivers were questioned by his presence behind them so ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Filipino Moods" - e-Hawaii Joke
There were three Filipino friends who were invited to a Mood Party. In order to be allowed access into the party, each person had to make an appearance as a mood or feeling.
The first guy went to the supermarket and bought a pear. The second, bought a ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"300 Pound Tongan" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a 300 pound Tongan girl?
A) Anorexic
(Submitted via email by "smackdownqueen")
Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Chinese Torture Tests" - e-Hawaii Joke
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Golf Laws" - e-Hawaii Joke
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Pass Me..." - e-Hawaii Joke
They were three guys dining with their wives, a Chinese, a Portuguese and a Hawaiian.
During dinner the Chinese said to his wife, "Pass the sugar, Sugar." Proudly she did while the other wives looked enviously.
Later, the Portuguese said to his wife, "Pass the honey, Honey." She too ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Duck Contest" - e-Hawaii Joke
It was duck season again. One sunny afternoon out in the plantation fields, the Filipino and his next door neighbor were out shooting for ducks. The Potagee shoots a duck and it starts falling down landing on the Filipino mans territory.
The Potagee guy says "EH! That's ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Foggy California" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) Why is San Francisco, Daly City, Skyline, and parts of the mountain always so foggy?
A) Because Filipinos always leave their rice cookers on!
(Submitted via email by "Pok Head")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Portuguese Acrobat" - e-Hawaii Joke
A haole woman was taking a walk one day when she happened upon two Portuguese men. One of them was digging a ditch with a shovel and the other was doing all kinds of magnificent acrobatic back flips and somersaults.
The woman walked up to the man who ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Chinese Menu" - e-Hawaii Joke
A'LA CARTE
CUM DROP SOUP
(Fresh every 27 days)
PEE YU PLATTER
(Clothes Pins Extra)
HOO FLUNG POO
(Napkins & raincoats provided)
YUNG POON TANK
(No take out orders accepted)
LUNCHEON SPECIALS
1.) SUM YUNG CHICK
(Different and delicious)
$6.99
2) WON HUNB LO
(Chinese meatballs)
$6.99
3) SUM DUM FUCK
(Same as #1 with extra sauce)
$9.69
4) CUM SUM TWAT
(Dinner for parties of ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Elevator Capacity" - e-Hawaii Joke
I entered the elevator and read a sign that said "Maximum capacity: 10 persons or 2 Samoans or 20 Filipinos"
(By "Billy G")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Filipino Contortionist" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What do you call a Filipino Contortionist?
A) A "manila folder"
(Submitted via email by "John")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Pearly Gates" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) How does a Filipino use the word "PERSUADING" in a sentence??
A) Hoy Auntie Rosing, you’re cousin Bing Bong got married one year ago already, tomorrow him and his wife will be celebrating their "PERSUADING" anniversary!
("FIRST WEDDING" get it.....)
(Submitted via email by "JR")
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Samoan Mother In Law" - e-Hawaii Joke
Q) What is the difference between a hippopotamus and a Samoan mother-in-law?
A) 2 pounds.....
(Submitted via email by "Susan")
Posted in Jokes | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Full Diaper" - e-Hawaii Joke
Once I visited my sister and saw her little two year old go strolling by.
"Hey sister", I cried, "look at your daughter's pampers, the bugga stay full with doo doo!"
She looked at me surprised and replied, "Nah cannot be! The box said it was good for 20 ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Are You Really Filipino? 115 Ways to Find Out" - e-Hawaii Joke
Confused about your ethnic identity; Want to know just how Filipino you are? Take this less-than-scientific quiz to rate your Filipino-ness. You might just be surprised at the results!
Scoring: Give yourself 3 points if you can relate to the following ...
Posted in Jokes | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Filipino Hostess" - e-Hawaii Joke
The teacher told her students to go home and make a sentence using the word "HOSTESS." The next day, the first student was a Hawaiian boy. He stood up and said, "My auntie is a Luau Hostess." The second student was a Korean girl. She stood ...
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
"Murphy's Law - Hawaiian Style" - e-Hawaii Joke
There will be a minimum of 5 different types of chicken at a potluck.
A girl in Hawai`i reaches maturity when she reads the Long's ad before the Sunday comics.
The chance of being able to divide a manapua evenly in half depends upon how much ...
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